How to Be Your Own Worst Enemy

Thinking back to all those classic Star Trek TV episodes and movies I enjoyed so much as a kid, I realize now that the Mr. Spock character I secretly idolized was, actually, two very different Vulcans.

The "Smart Spock" could always be counted on to perform dizzyingly complex calculations in his head, even under the most dire of circumstances. Bright guy! He always kept his emotions under control, yet he understood and worked very well alongside his chronically overwrought and comparatively slow human colleagues. This Spock was a compassionate and gifted problem-solver.

On the other hand, the "Stupid Spock," for all his obvious cognitive skills, consistently miscalculated the feelings of others and had a great deal of difficulty understanding and controlling even the simplest of his own long-repressed emotions. Dense dork! At his best, this Stupid Spock seemed comical alongside his wise and well-rounded human buddies. At his worst, he was a dysfunctional mess who often inadvertently put the human crew members on the Enterprise at risk.

 What does Smart Spock have that Stupid Spock doesn't? Emotional Intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence is a psychological construct that explains the variable ability of people, functioning in social and professional contexts, to understand and manage their own emotions while recognizing and adapting to the emotions of others.

Emotionally intelligent people, like Smart Spock, can overcome, and perhaps sometimes even harness, their own feelings and the feelings of others to function effectively in social and professional situations. Because emotionally intelligent people can make others feel valued and understood, people enjoy working with them and enthusiastically help them to get things done.

Emotionally unintelligent people, like Stupid Spock, fall prey to their emotions, which can hamper or even disable them. Insensitive or even scornful of the feelings of those around them, emotionally unintelligent people are often left to work alone.

Referring to those who are manifestly most deficient in Emotional Intelligence, Alexithymia is a common risk factor for a variety of personal and social problems. For example, people with alexithymia:

• can't identify feelings, and often confuse their emotions with the physical sensations (e.g., headaches, nausea) of emotional arousal
• can't describe their own feelings to other people, or put into words the emotions they observe in others
• have difficulty imagining alternatives (as evidenced by a paucity of fantasies) in solving practical problems.
  
  
  
  
  

Was Stupid Spock's problem on Star Trek that he couldn't understand, control, or adapt to emotions? Or, was that he didn't care enough to try?

Maybe that's what made a Smart guy like Spock so maddeningly Stupid sometimes.

Questions:

• Do you think there's a difference between ordinary empathy and Emotional Intelligence? What do you think it is?
• In practical terms, how do you think Emotional Intelligence (or a lack thereof) might affect the performance of a technical task, or the outcome of an Information Technology project?
• What do you imagine would be the first step toward increasing your own Emotional Intelligence?
• How might you begin to coach an EI-challenged colleague?
• When working with someone who may have Alexithymia, what kind of professional behavior should you avoid?